would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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