Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
