the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
