...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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