I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
