So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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