I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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