You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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