we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he fucked my hip out of place.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
