what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
