Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
