Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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