I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
