Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
