yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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