So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
