Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
