when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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