I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
