We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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