May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
