i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
