my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Still dying that you shit outside
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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