Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
