Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
