She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
