Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
