Where did you get a picture of my penis
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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