sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
