bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
