Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
