office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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