just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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