He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
