Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize