Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
