I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
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I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
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