fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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