Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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