I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
