yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
