i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I need to calm my uterus...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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