SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize