he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
