worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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