I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
