I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
