He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
