you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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