my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
