i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
