More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize