You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
