she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through