Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.

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  (512): hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes. http://tfl.nu/z5fi
  Replies (17) Good night (2878) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

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  (415): I'll probably hate you when I'm sober http://tfl.nu/uq7b
  Replies (28) Good night (3575) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house

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  (302): Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house http://tfl.nu/fhfx
  Replies (17) Good night (3890) Bad night (927) Order T-Shirt
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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  (+82): You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes. http://tfl.nu/6vdw
  Replies (7) Good night (5309) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"

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  (703): I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila" http://tfl.nu/s09r
  Replies (11) Good night (4608) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

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  (817): All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning http://tfl.nu/qcnv
  Replies (9) Good night (3332) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?

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  (410): i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka. (443): do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob? http://tfl.nu/qeeu
  Replies (18) Good night (4718) Bad night (900)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!

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  (402): 1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow! http://tfl.nu/fjak
  Replies (9) Good night (2647) Bad night (1131)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"

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  (720): I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned" http://tfl.nu/ppef
  Replies (4) Good night (1194) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.

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  (847): And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice. http://tfl.nu/ait7
  Replies (11) Good night (662) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  whose ass print is on the piano?

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  (818): whose ass print is on the piano? http://tfl.nu/s2mm
  Replies (9) Good night (1366) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.

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  (419): I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems. http://tfl.nu/2nf8
  Replies (8) Good night (985) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

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  (561): I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly http://tfl.nu/d11t
  Replies (12) Good night (723) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.

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  (937): Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you. http://tfl.nu/6dat
  Replies (3) Good night (1782) Bad night (209)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.

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  (563): You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say. http://tfl.nu/uumg
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (157)

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