Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
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he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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