Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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