i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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