She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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