Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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