But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
