Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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