I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
